Author’s Note: This list of advice was written back in 2021 as a challenge to myself, as well as a way to uplift and encourage some of my friends who were currently going through some hard times in life. Some of these pieces of advice are adapted from famous quotes, some are my own twist on common proverbs, but most are my own observations. I like to reflect on these statements and use them as a sort of grounding point when considering my life and the direction it’s going in.
I hope that these will be useful to any who read them, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you have short-form pieces of advice that fit the general theme of this list, feel free to send them to me (numilani on Discord); if I get enough of them, I may compile a second list.
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Try to hear a friendly voice every day. Mornings are especially good times for that.
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Disagree with someone; disagreement is a sign of conviction. Don’t be disagreeable with someone; disagreeability is a sign of arrogance.
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If you aim at nothing, you hit it a lot.
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Ensure that in the pursuit of “great”, you don’t fail to do good.
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You cannot look at something and know that it will end poorly. Perhaps it will start poorly, but who knows how it will end?
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Expectations are like fragile pottery - the harder you hold them, the more likely they are to crack.
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Bitterness is repaid more often than kindness.
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Trust is a wonderful thing. So are exit strategies. If you wouldn’t trust someone with your life, have a plan to ensure that you aren’t helpless if things turn sour. (Thanks to both Gen. Patton and Sylvester Stallone for inspiring this thought!)
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Be someone your younger self would look up to. Barring that, start making yourself into someone present you would look up to in the future.
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Cynicism dictates that there are three groups of people - heroes, villains, and pawns - and that the two powerful groups use the pawns to further their own ends. If you view the world in this light, you will miss out on every good thing that life has to offer.
There are not two one-percenter groups manipulating the other 98% for their own gain. There are, however, leaders and followers. Leaders can lead kindly or maliciously, and followers can assist or resist the pull of their leaders.
There are consequences to all choices, but to attempt to absolve oneself of responsibility by declaring one’s miseries to be the result of a malicious system is nothing more than a destructive mindset that obliterates any chance at living a happy and fulfilling life. The world is not made up of power-centric groups; the world is made up of individuals who make choices.
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Never take criticism from anyone you wouldn’t ask for advice.
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Trauma does not “make” a person any sort of way. It does, however, reveal the characteristics of a person that hell itself cannot destroy.
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Authority doesn’t come from a position, it comes from the people that give it to you.
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Nobody watches you more closely than the people who don’t like you, so don’t take it personally.
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Even the mundane can be made artful.
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The trouble with words is that their meanings can be twisted. If you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning. (Thanks Terry Pratchett)
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The Tao of Talking: There are always more things to say, and there are always fewer words it can be said in. Finding the balance is key.
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It is easy to speak out and condemn or condone; far harder to follow through and act on your beliefs. Let your actions define you, not your words.
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If you want the world to change, go model the change first. Not only will you set the pattern for the future, but you may find flaws in your own advice when you have to practice it yourself.
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When considering behavior, it’s critical to understand the difference between Leadership, Persuasion, Manipulation and Strategy.
Leadership involves inspiring others to electively change their course of action.
Persuasion involves convincing a person to change behavior to be in line with your goals.
Manipulation involves forcibly changing someone’s behavior against their will.
Strategy involves positioning yourself so that no matter how others are led, persuaded or manipulated, you are in the best place you can be when the repercussions hit, whether good or bad.
Persuasion, leadership, and manipulation are all active and involve others. Strategy is the only one of the set that is passive and only involves you.
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When people perceive the world as being right, even the things that remain wrong go ignored. When people perceive a deficiency, even when things are right, they will scramble to “fix” it. In a great deal of cases, perception holds a great deal more sway over a person’s actions than reality does.
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Life isn’t lived in years, it’s lived in seconds. If you don’t make the most of each one, then you don’t deserve a single extra one.
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More often than not, power is based in perception. The lowliest airman who carries himself with an air of authority can produce more results than an undignified colonel.
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Knowledge is painful, but ignorance is terrifying.
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Better to lose with a conscience than to win with a burdened soul.
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There is healing to be found in helping others; a joy that cannot be given, only reflected through service.
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The mark of a fool is a willingness to ignore information because it disagrees with desired results. (Thanks Brandon Sanderson)
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The clever strategist turns a liability into an advantage whenever they can. The wise strategist knows that not every advantage is worth the sacrifice it costs.
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Beware the distinction between ambition and greed. Sometimes it is wiser to sit down and enjoy what you have accomplished, rather than seeing just how far you can go, lest you overreach and lose everything.
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There is a distinction between rightness, legality, morality, and ethicality.
Legality is whether your action was within an acceptable level of danger to society.
Ethicality is whether society accepts your intentions as acceptable.
Rightness is whether your action was a logically and reasonably correct course of action to take.
Morality is whether your intentions were proper within your own consciencial framework.
Legality and ethicality pertain to society’s opinion of your action. Rightness and morality pertain to your own ability to cope with the actions you take.
Legality and rightness pertain to the act itself. Ethicality and morality pertain to your intentions.
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If you don’t fail, you aren’t even trying. Try more. Fail more. Succeed more.